What it felt like to make amends!

I can still recall the moment when fresh on the path of healing and growth, I witnessed the first fruits of my labor. It had been merely two years since I stepped away from the shadows of my past and ventured into the light of my own endeavour.

I went to my hometown to complete step 9, which was making direct amends to the people I harmed in my addiction. I tried to go to every person on my list and apologize for my behaviour during my addiction. I completed the bulk of my amendments that week.

During that week, I encountered a few individuals I grew up with. The interactions were not the same since I was now in recovery. As I drove away from my hometown, I felt sad because it was not the same as it used to be. Then a thought came to me: do I really want it to be the same because that would mean I was still living an addictive lifestyle? I knew the answer was 'no,' and I did not want it to be the same.

After completing Step 9 as thoroughly as I could, I remembered the 12-step promises. I was amazed before I was halfway through. I felt an overwhelming sensation that I did not have to return to my hometown for quite some time. I did not know how long, but I knew it was for a very long time.

The feeling was an awakening, a confirmation from the universe saying, "Yes, your gifts have worth!"

Though it was a modest beginning, it was a powerful affirmation.

This journey of self-discovery and independence affirmed my belief that leaving the routine life behind to follow my own path was not just a dream. That initial success was a beacon, illuminating the truth that with one achievement could come another and then another.

Do you recall the surge of spirit with your first victory?